More than two thirds of visits to medical consultations are for stress-related illnesses. Stress has been linked to headaches, back pain, insomnia, anger, cramps, high blood pressure, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, and decreased resistance to infection.

For women, stress is a key factor in hormonal imbalances that result in menstrual irregularities, PMS, fibroids, endometriosis, and fertility problems. Stress can also be a factor in the development of almost all diseases, including cancer and heart disease; the leading cause of death in Australian women.

In most cases, stress is the result of letting life get out of balance. This happens when we put all our energy into just one or two areas of our life (usually work) and ignore the rest. We assume too much, we promise too much, we don’t delegate, and we push our own wants and needs into the background by always taking care of the needs of others first. We overload ourselves to the point where we are forced to stop attending to what is important to us, such as time for our interests and time to be with our family.

If stress is a major problem for you, there are steps you can take to restore balance to your life, so you can stress less and smile more.

Step One: Develop Extreme Self-Care

Most people who suffer from stress have gotten good at practicing extreme self-neglect! They don’t eat well, rarely exercise or take breaks, and probably can’t remember the last time they had a vacation.

If you are one of these people, you need to take your personal care to new heights, beyond your normal limit. When you take care of your own needs first, you are building a reserve of energy and resources that will allow you to maintain extreme self-care with enough to care for others.

Creating 10 delicious daily habits that bring you pleasure is a great place to start. Here are some suggestions.

o Stretch for 2 minutes.

o Laugh for 5 minutes

or use dental floss

or read to a child

o Hug a loved one

o Go for a 10-minute walk in the park

o Listen to your favorite song

o Write in a journal

o Eat 3 fruits and 5 vegetables

o Read a chapter of your favorite book

o Drink 2 liters of water

or go to bed early

The key to reaping accrual benefits from your daily habits and practicing extreme self-care is to do them every day. Start with one habit and commit to practicing it for seven days, then add another, practicing both for another seven days. Continue adding your clothes until you are practicing all 10 items on your list daily.

Step Two: Eliminate Tolerances

Tolerances are situations and conditions you endure that exhaust you physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually. They include crossed boundaries, unfinished business or projects, misbehavior of others, frustrations, unwanted commitments, clutter, messy surroundings, broken items, overweight, weeds in the garden, and debts.

Make a list of five tolerances that drive you crazy about your work, life, health, and home, and then come up with a plan to get rid of the first “unbearable” tolerance on your list this week. Notice how this makes you feel, how it takes a weight off your shoulders. Now think how much better off you’ll feel when you get rid of the other four tolerances on your list! When you’ve completed removing the first five tolerances you’ve listed, start a new one and keep working until you have zero tolerances in your life.

Step Three: Meet Your Needs!

Unmet needs make us feel upset, angry, stressed, and depressed. The key to meeting our personal needs is to identify them. Identify the needs that feel authentic, not the ones that may look good to others or that are superficial. Be aware that what you consider a need (such as being loved) may be covering a real need (self-esteem). Ideas of personal needs are:

or calm

or Freedom

or be heard

or Independence

o Feeling valued

or Stability

oRespect

or a life purpose

or Satisfactory work

or Honesty

or Loyalty

or be busy

oSecurity

or to be loved

Pound

or Responsibility

or a race

oChildren

You may need to tell others what your needs are and learn to ask for support.

Step Four: Smile often and laugh more!

Scientists have discovered that laughter stimulates the release of beneficial brain hormones and neurotransmitters, which can reduce stress, improve our immune systems, and give us an overall sense of well-being. Some doctors are using laughter therapy to replace antidepressants and reduce the use of pain relievers. According to the researchers, faking laughter will also produce the same health and wellness results as real laughter.

Do you need to improve your ability to laugh more? Bronwen Williams of Laughter Works Australia recommends that when you wake up you sit up in bed or in a chair and smile vigorously and ridiculously. This muscular action induces the release of endorphins and within minutes we feel really happy!

Bronwen writes that: “Positive self-talk can be very empowering, so let’s start our days with strong statements like I love to laugh! People love to hear me laugh! Laughing makes me happy and healthy! I have a beautiful smile.” Let’s express not suppress, let’s laugh and live longer!”

Step Five: Set Goals

Without goals we have no direction in life. We are lost! When we are lost we get stressed and overwhelmed. Goals help us navigate our lives with greater ease and reaching them fills us up, making us happy.

One way to find out what your real goals are is to write a list of 100 things you’d like to accomplish before you die, and then start working on your list today.

When you set a goal, you tell your subconscious mind what is important to you and to be on the lookout for things, people, opportunities, or situations that will move you toward your goal. Setting goals is a tool that we can use to have what we want and need in our personal and professional lives.

Step Six: Create a Supportive Environment

Our environment can be supportive and energizing or drag us down and leave us feeling stressed and tired. A friendly and inspiring environment full of positive things and people energizes us and makes us feel happier. We all need good support structures to help our lives flow with less effort and stay balanced.

Five important life support structures are:

o People: family, friends, life coach, accountant, doctor, housekeeper

o Places: your office, desk, car, home

o Things: your phone, computer, home decor

o Processes: filing system, record keeping, time management program

o Inner environment: your vision of life, level of self-esteem, thought processes

Take a look at these five categories and see who or what you use to support you in each area. Are you really being supported? What do you need to change to feel more supported in all areas of your life?

Start making the easiest changes first. Just as it can take time to get over stressed, overwhelmed, and out of balance, it also takes time to make positive changes in your life. Sometimes trying to implement changes (even for the better) can cause stress and prevent a person from staying motivated.

Making changes in your life can be stressful, even if the changes are meant to reduce stress. For this reason it is important to work through each of the steps one at a time, mastering each one before moving on to the next. If you find you can’t make the changes on your own, get support from a counselor, doctor, naturopath, friend, partner, or life coach who specializes in stress issues.

Above all, consider the benefits you’ll enjoy when you’ve mastered the steps to stress less and smile more!