The authors left out a very important piece of the puzzle in their best-selling book. He do not like you to much. Deep down, all women know what that little piece of the puzzle is. Our perception and our reality are worlds apart when it comes to relationships today. Although our reality has changed drastically, our perception remains the same.
The tired but persistent perception still holds men responsible for most problems experienced in relationships; Which is not to say that women aren’t willing to take on a bit of responsibility. Women often blame themselves for giving and loving too much. Interestingly, women tend to give and love too much when they are involved with men who treat them poorly, or at least with men who show little interest in them. Could it be that women continue to love men this way because it is simply in their nature to give and nurture, or could it simply be that women love a challenge? If you’re a male reader, you probably suspect it’s the latter. Although, if you’re a reader, you know it’s the latest.
Women pursue commitment in the same way that men have always pursued sex. Men often lose interest in women after getting them into bed and women often lose interest in men after getting them to commit; that’s the reality, but it’s certainly not the perception most people have of women. Why? Because it doesn’t add up, males are “bad”; and women are the “good” stereotype that we have become so used to.
Women who claim to love too much are the equivalent of men who will say or do anything to get a woman into bed. These women will put up with anything and will do almost anything to achieve their goal: to get a man to commit. However, once they’ve gotten their commitment, they usually get bored and resentful. Eventually, after finding a reason to blame the men for their unhappiness (ie, boredom), they move on to their next conquest. This is the game of compromise, it’s the female version of chase and discard.
I found it interesting, having interviewed over two hundred people and having recently written a book on women, to hear that large numbers of women were ending their relationships as a result of reading He do not like you to much. Interesting, because I knew from my research that these women were probably ending their relationships for the same reason they stayed in them; they saw the men they were watching as a challenge.
I was curious, so I set out to find out what was really behind the apparent phenomenon. She wanted to know why women were really ending their relationships after her encounter with that little book we’ve all heard so much about.
I found that the directness of the book made it difficult, if not impossible, for women to further rationalize their boyfriend’s behavior once they had read it; there was nothing left for the women to analyze or discuss with their friends. They no longer needed to try to figure out what their boyfriends were thinking, or spend time wondering where their relationship was going. The need to discuss, analyze, hope and yearn had been eliminated. As a result, many women ended their relationships. They had mistakenly believed that the men in their lives were complicated and mysterious, or in other words, challenging; instead, they found that her boyfriend’s behavior was categorically relatable and even predictable.
What should not be overlooked, however, is the fact that it was the apparent “cookie cutter” behavior of the men, that is, the loss of mystery of the men, that caused the women to end their relationships. Obviously it wasn’t because of the way the men treated them; otherwise, the women would have ended their relationships before reading the book. So it seems that women are ending relationships after reading the book for the same reason they often ended relationships before reading it: they think the men in their lives are boring.
One of the co-authors of He do not like you to much has co-written a new book, entitled It’s called a break because it’s broken. Even without reading the subtitle, one could easily assume that the book is meant to help women deal with the difficulty and aftermath of a breakup. One might surmise this due to the book’s cover prominently displaying a container of ice cream.
It will be interesting to see if this new book will also sweep the nation; though, I must say, I don’t think I will. The reason is due to a little-known fact: It is women, not men, who end most relationships. I know what your preconditioned mind must be thinking. You must be thinking “well, women wouldn’t be ending most relationships if it wasn’t for the bad behavior of men.” But this is not necessarily the case. Breaking up is actually one of the most common reasons women give for ending their relationships, and during my research, the reason women most often gave for ending or wanting to end their relationship was “my husband/boyfriend is boring.”
With this in mind, one has to wonder why the new breakup book doesn’t have a big ice cold beer on its cover. The answer to that is probably quite simple:
A) As a society we keep the bad behavior of women a secret; Trust me, if it had been Hillary instead of Bill, you would never have been wiser.
B) Women buy many more books than men.
These kinds of books are obviously meant to empower women. However, I think the opposite is true. Women will never be empowered by the false media bravado that is constantly used to feed their egos and somehow make up for their past oppression. Women will only be truly empowered when they own the dark side of their nature. When they are held accountable and take responsibility for their own bad behavior, as well as the harm they often inflict on others.
In our culture, men have been reduced to nothing more than their animal nature, while women, on the other hand, are still somewhat separate from theirs. The devil and the angel, so to speak, live inside every human being. Women are in no way excluded from this fact of human nature. At some point in history, many societies assigned and considered certain characteristics and behaviors natural, that is, acceptable, for each of the sexes. To this day, people are inundated with these same exaggerated and fictional images of male and female behavior. Women, like men, have been cut down the middle, able to own only part of who they are.
For women to achieve real equality and stop being their own oppressors, they will have to acknowledge and take responsibility for the disrespectful way they often treat men. In truth, women are as often the villains as they are the victims. Recognizing and accepting this fact is the only way for women to become truly whole.
This process may require women to ask themselves some pretty tough questions that they will definitely not like the answers to. Questions like:
How many guys have I blown up? How many times have I not returned a phone call from a guy? How many times have I lied to a boy? How many times have I cheated on a boy? How many times have I hung up on a guy? How many times have I used a guy for his money? How many times have I used a guy to get attention? How many times have I used a guy for sex?
Women regularly do all these things and more. Also, they usually do them to men who really like them and are trying to treat them well. Unfortunately, nice guys are often seen as willing, willing to commit, which translated into masculine terms means: an easy fuck.
Women didn’t need to read a book from a man’s perspective to better understand and comprehend male behavior, all they had to do was wonder why they treat some men the way they often complain they are treated. . .. And of course, without any hesitation, an answer quite similar to the title of that little book would roll off the tongue of every woman: I’m just not that interested in him.