Empathic They have a natural ability to feel not only their own, but also the emotions of others. This innate ability can be observed in babies. This ability generally disappears in childhood as we learn to focus more on verbal signals than emotional ones.

But for some people, the flow of emotional information keeps coming. This can lead to powerful internal conflicts as they pick up incoherent verbal and emotional messages from people (such as when someone is lying or holding back anger). It can also quickly become overwhelming in social settings where the sheer amount of emotional information can be too much to handle.

Emotional intelligence it is defined as “the ability, capacity or ability to perceive, evaluate and manage the emotions of oneself, others and groups” (Salovey and Mayer, 1990). Developing your emotional intelligence means you have tools and processes to manage these emotional data.

Are you empathetic?

1. Do you feel anxious or nervous in a crowd (4+ people)?
2. You mood vary seemingly random (get angry or sad for no apparent reason)
3. Do you feel a change in your physical energy level when you’re in a crowd (tired, hardwired)
4. You have a hard time fall asleep before midnight or do you procrastinate to go to bed?
5. Have Physical symptoms hearing related (ringing, popping, itchy ear)?
6. Are you emotionally uncomfortable when someone keys or is it close to you?

Disclaimer: This checklist is not a diagnostic or treatment tool. Some of the characteristics of empaths can be diagnosed as ADD, agoraphobia, or clinical depression. Contact your healthcare professional if you have any questions, need a diagnosis or treatment for a mental health problem.

Empathy resources

Fortunately, more and more online resources are available for empaths. Unfortunately, most of these resources suggest a process that is likely to make things worse for you. Any kind of “protective mental shield” is based on the assumption that emotional information is threatening. If you go down that path, you will have to “fight back” for the rest of your life. How exhausting does that sound?

My work is based on results – if it works, keep doing it! As an empath, these are the 3 tools that I find most effective in managing the flow of emotional information that I constantly receive. Give them a try and see for yourself which one works best for you.

• Be transparent:

When we feel threatened by our environment, we physically tense up and our energy field (the magnetic field that envelops our body) becomes dense and constricted.

When you notice this tension, imagine that your energy field is expanding, like a gas. The particles become more and more spaced, making their energy field thinner and much larger. As your energy field loosens, emotions rush through you, like a rock falling into water. Instead of being trapped in your dense energy field, the emotions of others simply flow through you.

• Adjust the volume:

Sometimes the noise of other people’s emotions gets so loud that we can’t hear ourselves thinking! We get confused, we doubt, we frustrate. Close your eyes and imagine two volume dials in front of you that go from 0 to 10. One says “Me” and the other says “Everything else.” Turn the “I” dial to 10 and the “Everything else” dial to 0. Instantly, your mind will respond to this request and the talk will calm down.

• Progressive affirmations:

Progressive affirmations can help you get where you want to be. Keep in mind that affirmations must ALWAYS feel good to be effective. So start with the “easier” statement and say it for a few days. When you feel ready, go to the next level for a few days until you can say the “higher” affirmation while feeling good.

1. “I am willing to master my empathic skills”
2. “I am ready to master my empathic skills”
3. “I choose to master my empathic skills”

Keep in mind that practice makes perfect. Try to do it mentally before you get into a difficult situation (like a mall or a party).

Once you are comfortably managing your empathic skills, you are ready to move on and develop your Emotional Intelligence through the productive use of emotional data in your daily life.