I’ve been thinking… IS the phrase…

“A kiss is just a kiss…”?

Was it ever really that simple?

Never have more false words been said.

Kissing is an expression. Kissing is a powerful basic form of communication. Kissing is a non-verbal expression of saying exactly what you feel without saying a word. One should never underestimate the power of a kiss. It sets you free, it holds you prisoner, it fills you up, and it can leave you broken and yearning for more. So you see, a kiss is never “just” a kiss.

Just look at some of the famous quotes uttered about the art of kissing over the years. We are consumed and fascinated by its power.

“Kiss: a secret told to the mouth instead of the ear.” Edmond Rostand

“The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story.” emilio ludwig

“A kiss is a charming trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superfluous.” Ingrid Bergman

“Kiss: a thing of use to no one, but appreciated by two.” Robert Zwickey

“On the list of great inventions, kissing ranks higher than the Thermos bottle and the Airstream trailer…even higher than room service, probably because the main reason room service was created It was so that people could stay in bed and kiss without going hungry.” Tom Robbins

“Few men know how to kiss well… fortunately, I have always had time to teach them.” mae west

We write poetry about it… we sing songs about its power and impact. Plays are dedicated to it…Civilizations have risen or fallen because of a well placed kiss with the right or wrong person. We use a kiss to seal promises… to convey so many things.

A kiss can mean a lot or nothing at all. Remember when you were five years old and you thought kissing was gross? It was not until adolescence that little by little the meaning of a kiss was revealed to us. Between laughs we confess our first kisses, our secret initiation into the “adult” world. Nobody talks about kissing anymore. Oh, we read about them in romance novels or see them on the big screen, but no one talks about them in whispers between blushes and laughs. We are adults. Kissing is commonplace for us now. Most of us kiss our partner mindlessly at least once a day. But shouldn’t a kiss always be special?

What exactly IS a kiss?

A kiss is more than sharing lips and breath. It is a mixture of hearts and souls. A slight tingling, a strange feeling in the stomach, a racing heart is to be expected. A kiss is an intimate connection with another human being and a simple way to express love and affection. It is also a way of confirming that our partner is “the one” and, traditionally, the wedding vow is also sealed with a kiss. What better way to seal the promise of love? So what makes a good kiss? That is a question that is difficult to answer. There is no such thing as a bad kiss, but unfortunately, there are bad kissers. Each kiss is different, each personal message. There are as many different kisses as messages you want to convey.

The first kiss

The anticipated first kiss is the one we both long for and dream about. And, whether remembered as sweet and cuddly, shy and hesitant, or as bumped heads and noses, we don’t forget. A kiss is a wonderful thing. We wonder if and when the object of our affections will grant us a kiss. We wonder if our knees will go weak, our pulse will race, or if we will fail. A lot depends on a kiss. We analyze every detail of our interaction with the opposite sex with the precision of a scientist. He smiled at you when you passed. He likes you? You went to see a movie with subtitles and he seemed to like it. Does he really like foreign movies or is he just trying to please you? Will he call you back? You go out on your second date. And then somehow you kiss. Your heart soars. He likes you! Could it be love?

the kiss of friendship

Only the luckiest people know the friendship kiss. Europeans have experienced it for years. That soft kiss on the cheek, that soft brush of two people together, he says, “Hey, I really like you.” There is no question of motivation, there is no negotiation for sexual relations. It is pure, it is enlightenment. Even for this kind of kiss, it’s not trivial. You are letting someone into your “space” to touch you, hug you…it should never be taken lightly.

shallow kiss

“Bye, honey. Have a nice day,” we say with a quick kiss on the lips as we head out in the morning to start our workday. It’s part of the routine. Just one more thing to do on our way out the door. Often, once the dating days are over, couples tend to fall into a routine that is anything but romantic. A kiss can communicate so much. Love, tenderness, passion and devotion, to mention just a few. It can also serve as a relationship barometer. Kissing is part of the daily interaction that a couple shares. You can send spontaneous and frequent displays of affection and love. In the early stages, we kiss our partner a lot because we need the reassurance that a kiss can provide. Once we are established in a relationship, we need less security because we feel more secure in our partner’s love. But, with the passage of time, there is a danger that a couple stops expressing their love with kisses. The kisses begin to fade. You only kiss hello or goodbye or while making love. The love between you, though cherished, is no longer something you think about. It’s right there. Sometimes spoken, sometimes not.

the stolen kiss

Just like a smile, it can happen anytime, anywhere. This kiss starts on your belly, moves towards your heart and ends on your mouth. Sitting in a dark movie theater, waiting for a crowded bus, reading the Sunday paper, it just happens. You know what I’m talking about, that inexplicable urge to drop whatever you’re doing and have a fit of affection. It has happened to you, admit it. You are in your kitchen washing dishes when suddenly your partner comes in for a cold drink. You turn around and walk up to them and give them a big kiss. Because? Because you can. For the most part, they are welcomed and appreciated.

the passionate kiss

They can’t wait to feel and touch each other. Their mouths and hands are full, their hearts are pounding, and they can literally see sparks fly. Passion is a wonderful thing. It makes us feel more alive, more connected to our partner. But, realistically, one cannot expect passion in every kiss. Kisses can range from slow and sweet to urgent and hot. Also, it is unrealistic to expect passion every day of our lives.

How many times in books, movies, and in real life has it been shown that a relationship based solely on passion cannot survive? Without a deep emotional connection between two people, a lasting love cannot thrive. And by lasting love, I mean one that can withstand the ups and downs of everyday life. Factors like compatibility, similar values ​​and goals, mutual respect, trust, and friendship need to be weighed alongside physical attraction. A passion that feeds on itself will eventually die out.

The romantics dream of it, the cowards fear it. It speeds up your breathing, it makes your heart race. This kiss inspires poetry and singing. This kiss ignites jealousy and rage. This kiss knows no satisfaction. Whether performed by lovers or strangers, this kiss has a single message: “I love you.”

A passionate kiss calls for surrender…and you listen.

kisses 101

1. Always remember how special you and your partner are together.

2. Get creative. Kiss your partner’s forehead, eyelids, cheeks, nose, and chin before kissing your partner on the mouth.

3. If you don’t like your partner’s kissing style, kindly tell him how you would like him to kiss you. Better yet, show them.

4. Gently stroke your partner’s hands, neck, or back as you kiss. Make it more than just a meeting of lips.

5. If you don’t have time for a “real kiss,” make a verbal promise to “later.” You and your partner will have something to look forward to, and you will have put the magic of anticipation back into your relationship.

Other daily steps toward intimacy:

1. REALLY listen to each other. Hear what’s being said instead of putting your own spin on it or just hearing what you want to hear.

2. Be there for each other. Be the port in the storm for each other, even when you disagree on the issue. Never turn your back on your partner or close the emotional door.

3. Touch…often. Even if it’s a light touch that lets someone know you’re thinking of them or a passionate promise for later, it’s important to have that connection.

4. Go on a “date” at least once a month. Maybe even recreate your first date. Be inventive, be imaginative. Don’t take each other for granted or take too much care of each other.

5. Have a candlelight dinner. All the way up. Having music, good silver, china, wine, dressing (or barely dressing). Televisions and cell phones are not permitted. Get a babysitter for the kids if necessary.

6. Plan a special day together just for the two of you. No matter what you do, just do it about the two of you, not as a group. Draw the planning, anticipate it. Savor the day it happens.

7. Having a “How’s your love life?” conversation. Ask your partner to rate their level of passion and intimacy on a scale of 1 to 10. Just having the conversation increases the level of satisfaction for both of you.

8. Write a love letter to your partner. Make it a bit hit or miss. Catch your partner off guard by saying things you don’t normally say.

9. Agree to take turns initiating affection so that it doesn’t always fall on the same partner.

10. Once in a while, schedule the passion on your calendar in advance. Focus on your “date” in the hours before so that your passion and enthusiasm have time to really develop.

Anticipation is a wonderful thing… never take it for granted.