You know the downsides of getting older, but there really are some benefits. If you are married and / or have children, if you are the caregiver of elderly parents, if you are building your career, you cannot really focus on your own personal needs. There are too many pulls on you.

But, once you have done or not done all of these things (for example, did you get married or not, had children or not, built your career or not), you find yourself in a different life space. You know where you have achieved; you know where you have failed. Now is it time to see what’s next? This is what I call the following void.

Getting to this point could happen just before a big birthday (40, 50, 60) or it could happen when you receive a pink note or a husband walks away from you. But it can also happen when you just walk across the street and see a beautiful tree. That is, it can happen at any time. objectiveYou have to be “old” enough and wise enough to know that it is time to focus on yourself.

This could be the day you can barely get out of bed, feeling like menopause is sapping your youth and energy. This may be the day when you say, “Isn’t there something positive about losing a monthly bodily function that causes me pain and is no longer necessary in my life?”

This could be the day you say you are looking for MZ, Menopausal Zest. The energy that comes from letting go of what you no longer need, whether it’s your period, a job you’ve left behind, a relationship that has become stale.

Getting old gives you the freedom to say, “Now is my time.” And then you need to discover your “missing something”, which keeps you bored, bored, tired of the same old stuff.

How did you come to find this something that was missing? How do you search for your MZ?

1. The first thing you need is time to think and reflect. You may need to get away from your daily routine, away from people who have demands and expectations of you. Even if you can only have a few hours, do it yourself.

2. Next, you must look inward and listen carefully. Whose voice is it that says you are “selfish” if you do something for yourself that may hurt or disappoint others?

3. Once you recognize that voice, write a letter to that person, your mother or father, your husband, or even a sister who is not doing as well in life as you are. Or maybe he’s a religious leader from childhood, who instilled in you the courage and honor of selfless women. (A woman who is “disinterested” is one who has less of me.) You don’t have to explain anything to this person; you don’t have to defend yourself. You just have to tell the person what you are going to do for you and say goodbye. Something like, “I am releasing you now; you no longer have the power to hold me.”

4. This next step can be very helpful, but it can be even more difficult than any of the previous ones (which may already have been difficult). Write a letter from this person for you. You can make the person release you from previous messages. You have the opportunity to make the person wish you the best and encourage you to move on and succeed, even if it is something that person was never able to do on their own.

Don’t be surprised if you need to take time off to be alone and think more precisely about what you want and how to make it happen; how to deal with family and friends who may be jealous of you concentrating on yourself and therefore may subtly sabotage your efforts.

If these steps are difficult, talk to friends, read some self-help books, attend a weekend getaway like One-Time Retreats for Women, anything that gives you the support to follow. At this point in your life, you are entitled to your MZ.