The way we communicate with others can influence our relationships with them. The problem is that the process of exchanging words can become the trigger that can stress you out. Unfortunately, once you are stressed by what another person is saying, it becomes difficult to get the most out of that relationship or encounter. You know what I mean?

Here is an example. Yesterday I called my friend who I hadn’t seen or talked to in the last 3 years. We had drifted apart because we had been busy dealing with work and family life. I decided to call him yesterday to check on him due to the COVID 19 pandemic. He answered the phone and before he could brush off the niceties he told me that he was very disappointed in me. He told me that he had been going through a lot, but I never bothered to call him.

He was upset by what he was saying. I wanted to point out to my friend that it was me who called. He wanted to tell her that communication was like ping-pong, it took two people to make it work. In the end, I decided that I must be hurt and that getting into an argument would only lead to more emotional tension and more stress. I decided to listen to him and save the discussion for later. The good news was that instead of stressing me out, my approach helped reduce tension and left the door open for possible future positive interactions.

Keeping in mind that your interaction or communication with others is part of a continuum is one of the ways you can communicate better and manage stress better. Because? It helps you keep the bridge of interaction with others open. Sometimes this will mean keeping your word and your thoughts to yourself, at other times it would mean speaking in a way that reflects empathy.

This part of the effective communication process will help you reduce stress. The more you reduce stress, the less likely you are to speak up in anger or say things you can never take back. Speaking calmly, even under pressure, is one way you can keep your conversations with others strategically effective.

Ask yourself questions that will help you recognize what aspects of your communication with others might be helping your relationship improve or making it difficult for you to keep your relationship healthy and positive. You listen well? Do you interrupt others before they finish their sentences? Remember that when you communicate with others, they will interact with you from their own perspective, worldview, personality, or experience. Your own personal interest will drive the relationship more than fairness or truth. Don’t let this frustrate you or interrupt your focus on managing stress better through better communication. This is part of the self-control process for stress management.