Has trust really died? Or does it just seem like it?

My grandmother always told me “never trust anyone who doesn’t look you in the eye”. My grandfather always told me “never trust anyone who looks you in the eye because she is going to put her hand in your pocket”. So what’s a little boy to think about trust? My dad said “he comes down to living and learning”. I’m sure all of these were meant to be useful.

We’ve all been burned by trust at some point, some more than others. At a young age, we would say something to our best friend with complete confidence, only to have that trust broken in the future. We couldn’t figure out why and in the process we probably lost a friend. As we’ve gotten older, we’ve found that it happens more often, and usually with bigger issues.

So we accumulate these little scars of trust. These scars cannot be seen on our skin but are ever present in our hearts and psyche. After a while, many of us lose faith in trusting another human being. It has become apparent that self-interest and personal agenda have become far more important than trust for many people.

It used to be that a simple handshake was all it took to seal a deal. Now reams of paper and a team of lawyers are needed to protect their interests. Oddly enough, I still do handshake deals, and for the most part they stick. You may have some additional scars from those who didn’t, but overall I think we can trust more than we trust.

I know, I know, right now someone is pronouncing “romantic fool.” Just so you know I don’t trust everyone I meet. We have an additional sense built into ourselves that gives off warning vibrations. My wife is especially adept at sensing who not to trust, and she has a long history with her sixth sense in this regard. Hers is better than mine. At one point in my life, when I was interviewing someone for a high-ranking position, I would invite the couple to dinner with my wife and me. Her subsequent assessment of her character weighed heavily in my decision to hire. It’s not just about talent, skill and resume.

You know, when someone tells me that they don’t trust anyone, they’re really telling me that they don’t trust themselves. Isn’t that sad?

In business it’s hard to know who to trust, but you have to start somewhere. The best place to start is with those who report to you. This is your chance to perhaps make them into something more than what they are or were. The best way to turn them into something more is to give them responsibility and accountability and, at the same time, support their decisions. If you do this, your actions will let them know that you trust them. What better way to develop trustworthy people.

Naturally, we must always be attentive to the movements of people. It’s not what people say but what they do that counts, so watch your movements carefully. By the way, your children are constantly watching you. They are watching to see if your actions follow what you tell them to do. This is how they really learn from you. People watching is not only fun, it’s enlightening.

With internet marketing it becomes much more difficult to trust. There are so many peddlers and scammers out there looking for your money that you need to develop a special sixth sense just for that. If you don’t already have a sixth sense for Internet marketing, start by developing a healthy sense of caution. It will save your back and your money time and time again. I got an email the other day offering something great for $1. Sometimes these are real and sometimes they are not. This turned out to be a partial reality. You only had to pay $1 to get the information, but the sequence was that it would cost you $37 per month after that as well. I did not participate in this offer because I did not like the approach. I didn’t think trusting this seller was worth the risk.

On the other hand, I have been following a seller’s blog and received a lot of good advice for free for a while now. Then I got an email offering me one of your free sales themes. I followed the link and downloaded the theme and a video on how to use it. It turned out to be a great tool. A week later, I received an email from him again, only this time offering me the opportunity to purchase a course he had written on how to make money on small product websites. The cost was $97. I bought it immediately for a reason. This seller had been giving me great free advice for a while and he also provided me with free tools. I reasoned that his course would be valuable to my marketing plan. He had created in me a level of confidence that told me it was okay to buy. I was right! I bought because this seller had learned the value of giving before receiving.

Therefore, I recommend caution and an Internet marketing approach that will hopefully reduce the amount of scarring you accumulate and increase the number of good people you meet on the Internet. May it also guide your own marketing efforts and allow you to gain the Trust of those who decide to follow you.

My own philosophy towards trust with people I know personally is quite simple. Unless my sixth sense is awakened, I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to trust them. I find this to be much easier with much less stress and effort than the alternative. However, if they violate my trust, they have a big uphill battle to win back the trust. The point of truth is that none of those who have violated my trust have regained the level of trust that I originally gave freely.

I think Trust is alive and well; it just needs to be a part of our life and character every day.

Finally, never forget that “TRUST IS LIMITED TO THE SCOPE OF THE TRUTH”.

Yours in interweb business, friendship and service,

Tom (TR)Ryan

IMassistance