It is part of human nature for children to misbehave from time to time. This attitude is a way of exploring the unknown, to learn about oneself and their environment. How is that? From these actions come the consequences, and these consequences are another way of learning.

But there will be a distinction between normal and abnormal behavior. It is how quickly you can perceive the signals and solve the problem. Next, we will talk about:

• types of child behavior
• parenting styles and how it affects a child,
• influence between nature and/or nurture, and
• Possibility to eliminate bad behavior.

What you need to know about child behavior

Why is my child behaving “like this”? Is it just a phase or serious signs of abnormality? When will you know if it’s too much? These are some questions that parents ask during a visit to the doctor.

First, you need to know the difference between normal and abnormal behavior. Children, especially toddlers, are at a stage of knowing their likes and dislikes. This is where they show independence and the ability to express themselves through actions.

Coincidentally, young children do not know how to control their emotions. They are still learning to be empathetic and patient. Now, not all toddlers are the same, some can control their emotions from the start, but others need parental guidance.

Abnormal behavior is when your child’s attitude is too much. Does he throw tantrums more than three times a day? Or maybe your child hits, bites and yells at everyone on a regular basis? There are some cases where your child does not respond well to discipline.

To know when to tolerate a certain attitude, it is necessary to know three types of behavior:

1. Normative

This type of behavior is the norm or acceptable attitude in society. It can include a child’s ability to clean up her toys, potty training, make friends, and much more.

2. occasional

It is a behavior that is only acceptable in certain circumstances. Such as having tantrums during an uncomfortable event, not playing or eating while the child is sick, etc.

3. Destructive

Attitude of the child that is harmful to oneself and to others. It includes hitting other children, misbehaving in public, yelling or cursing at parents, etc.

The parent’s response provokes the child’s reaction.

Do you feel that your child does not listen to you? Or does he react in a different way than you expected him to? Starting from the title itself, have you reflected on the type of reaction you show your child?

A child’s behavior is a reflection of the parent’s reaction. The type of parenting style you use can affect your child in positive or negative ways. How is that? Because the way you react is often copied by your child.

When a child witnesses you talking to your husband/wife, your child behaves the same way. Are you in doubt?

Well, what about the type of food your child eats? One parent eats everything, while the other is picky, especially with vegetables. The child will soon think that it is okay not to eat the vegetables because one of the parents does not.

Now, how can you make your child love to eat vegetables when he sees that you are not eating them? Isn’t that hypocrisy? When it comes to attitude, your reaction takes its toll. Below are three types of responses:

1. Ignoring as a form of discipline

Parents believe that ignoring their child is the best form of parenting. In a way, it can be useful, but only in certain situations. Ignoring your child during her tantrums will send a message that she is not condoning her behavior or that she will not “buy” him.

The wrong way to use this is when your toddler aggressively pulls their hair or doesn’t share their toys. If you use this type of parenting style, your toddler will interpret it as okay to continue the action/not wrong.

2. active control

Being too controlling can backfire. If you are strict and scold your child every time he makes a mistake, he will be passive and grow rebellious. Yes, this can be good, temporarily, because your child will want to avoid any punishment.

But sooner or later, your child will not follow your orders or keep secrets from you. The strict parenting style can also develop a dependent child with low self-esteem.

3. two-way negotiation

Keep in mind that your toddler is adjusting to a new phase, the phase of learning more about what he feels and wants. If your child misbehaves, he’ll resort to talking by saying, “No, that’s not the right way” instead of “NO! Go take your time now!”

“Time out” is only necessary when your child has repeated a certain misbehavior. So, as a way to avoid any repetition, you want to make sure you get the message across that won’t make the child feel accused or scolded.

As parents, be sure to control your emotions and expressions so as not to negatively impact your child’s attitude.

Nature or nurture: Which is the most influential?

Many people debate about the influence of the environment and genetics on the behavior of an individual. Nature, known as genetics, is considered the reason why an individual reacts differently from others. While Nurture is also known as the environmental effects.

What do you believe in? Are behavior and/or attitude affected by what a person experiences in their day to day? Or is the cause of this through what he received from his ancestors?

Nature

There are studies that measure the influence of both factors. One case involves twins who were separated as soon as they left their mother’s womb. Years later, they met again and there were many similarities in the attitude of the twins.

Now, the environment in which they live is different from each other. One went to a prestigious university with a room of her own, while the other stayed in foster care, sharing a room with 5 children and attending a public school. But why is there a similar attitude?

It’s because of genetics. Genetics play a very important role in the well-being of an individual. Like diseases and physical attributes, attitude can be transmitted.

Nourish

Meanwhile, when it comes to the environment, you need to consider several factors:

• Interaction with different types of people,
• family circle and
• Type of place or dwelling.

Culture is a perfect example of an environmental influence. Each group has different rules and beliefs, people follow this set of rules through observation. When a group of people look up while walking, the others will look up as well, and that is what we call the bystander effect.

If a child was taught to tidy up his room every day, the child will adapt it until he grows up. Instead of a kid who wasn’t taught to clean.

Now how can we relate this to the destructive behavior of a child? Do not limit yourself to one side, be sure to study and find the possible causes of your little one’s attitude.

Is it because you were too harsh in teaching your toddler (environment)? Or maybe your child has some kind of (genetic) disorder?

Is it too late to correct bad behavior?

Studies have found that once a person grows into their 30s and 40s, it will be difficult to change their behavior. It means it’s too late for them to renew because they got used to a certain pattern.

He cites for example a woman who is an impulsive buyer, one way to “change” this is by limiting her options. The truth is that she will not be able to eliminate that behavior completely, what she did was divert her attention to something else. This is different in the case of young children.

Young children between the ages of 18 months and 3 years are still “searching” for who they are. Therefore, there may be cases when the child suddenly vents or throws away all the toys that she has.

As long as you don’t tolerate this kind of behavior, you won’t stay like this forever. Is it possible to fix this? Of course! As?

1. No to “shame”

Shaming your child in front of friends and family is a form of shame. Today, some parents post their children’s “punishments” as a way of teaching them a lesson.

Shaming will not do the parent-child relationship any good, all it will do is create conflict.

2. Punishment is not the answer.

Belts, hangers and sometimes a broom is what some parents use to punish their child. Other forms of punishment are verbal starting with yelling while pointing fingers. Once a child witnesses a form of violence, she will do the same to something/someone else.

3. Put yourself in your child’s shoes

Before you yell or do something rash, put yourself in your child’s shoes and look at their perspective. What will they feel once they see you react in a certain way? People say that children will repeat the same behavior when you accuse or correct too much.

The best way is to teach your child how to behave by being a good example. It starts with you, you define the behavior of your child.