Which is the biggest road block What prevents people from having the relationship they most want?

At the beginning of most relationships, fun, excitement, and play are the rule. Each couple is on their best behavior, showering affection and kindness. Expectations are high, and for now, needs are easily and often met.

However, after a while, things change and it seems like more and more effort is required to maintain the spark. Each of the partners may feel that he wants to “cash in” on all the affection he has poured out and take a break to just sit back and receive the outpouring of love they were used to.

Gradually, when they feel that they are no longer being cared for in the same way, they each withdraw their affections a bit, lamenting the fact that the spark is gone. by the way, discover that the relationship is NOT the solution to your problems and many move on to the next person at this point. Since they don’t understand the dynamics of relationships, they only want the easy part, not the work part.

It is important to think about relationships. as a platform to give, rather than receive

There are several reasons why relationships fail:
1). The Law of Familiarity: As emotion wanes, the negative “anchors” slowly erode and replace the original positive ones.

A. Make sure you are not concentrating on the other person when you are in a negative state.

B. Use patterns of interrupting each other in a playful way to help keep arguments under control.

2). Since we all have unique triggers or “anchors” that we associate with feeling love and attraction. We just need to learn how to consistently deliver on those strategies.

A. Some of us prefer to be shown that we are loved: special looks, or take us to special places or even buy us things.

B. Other people need words of love even in a certain tone of voice.

C. Still others need to be touched in a certain way, eg. a gentle touch or need to be held tightly to let them know you care passionately.

Being each one different, you should know how your partner feels love.

So, you have found the relationship you want and you want it to last. What has to happen to maintain and improve it?
1). First, find out what strategy your partner prefers to feel loved, then stick to it consistently.

2). Don’t get sucked into the “You do it first, then I’ll do it” game. Learn to give what you most want to receive.

A. Use your enthusiasm to improve the quality of your relationship.

B. Try to ask questions that encourage the expression of love.

C. Work on creating memories together and plan those special moments to keep the spontaneous spark of the game alive.

Without a full commitment to your relationship, nothing of lasting and measurable value can be created or maintained in life.
His homework:
1). Identify your desires and non-desires in a relationship. Write them down.

2). What should the relationship be like so that you are happy with yourself and effectively contribute to its continued growth?

3). Create a list of fun and unique things that you can share together on an ongoing basis.

There is a lot of information about relationships. These are just some tips that I hope will be useful to you.

Let me know how you feel about all these ideas. Specifically, how are your relationships? How do you keep it going?

Thanks for stopping by!

Forward!