Question: What do you get when you combine a 500-year-old man born in a bottle… an evil society hell-bent on discovering the secret of immortality… and two adventurous 11-year-old boys?

Answer: A fun and witty book that children will surely enjoy reading.

Yes, Pseudonym Bosch has done it again. In his annoying, sarcastic way, he’s created a story that kids will eat up, but will parents choke on the mild violence and occult references?

the good things

This is the story of a very independent survivor (Cass) who gradually learns to depend and trust others, especially Max-Ernest and the members of the Terces Society.

Cass, Max-Ernest, Yo-Yoji, and the other members of the Third Society show true friendship as they support each other through thick and thin.

Here are a few examples that caught my eye…

– Cass asks Cabbage Face to forgive her for lying to her.

– Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji gather the Terces Society to rescue Cass from the Midnight Sun.

– Cabbage Face sacrifices his life to save Cass.

Violence

While “If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late” isn’t what most people would consider violent, Cass and Max-Ernest find themselves in some creepy situations.

For example…

– Dr. L transports Cass and Max-Ernest aboard a ship, ties them up and threatens to use them as shark bait.

– Cass discovers that Cabbage Face (the 500 year old homunculus) killed the Lord Pharaoh and buried his remains. (At one point, she claims to have “eaten” Lord Pharaoh.)

– Mrs. Mauvais’ evil minions grab Cass and the homunculus at the Skelton Sisters concert and threaten them with physical harm.

– Cass is tied to a tree in a graveyard and freezes.

– When the Third Society fights against the Midnight Sun to rescue Cass, there is a lot of punching, flame throwing, biting and kicking.

Magic, Sorcery and Spirituality

“If you’re reading this, it’s too late” has some ancient Egyptian-style spirituality to it.

For example,

– The doctor who “created” the homunculus was a devotee of the secret science called alchemy – and wanted power over life itself. He even started calling himself “Lord Pharaoh”, because he discovered powers that only the kings of ancient Egypt knew.

– The madmen seeking immortality from the Masters of the Midnight Sun sing as the tomb of the Lord Pharaoh is unearthed.

– Mrs. Bad calls Lord Pharaoh a “god”. She wants to continue her work, so that the members of Midnight Sun can also be gods.

But there is something else…

It’s not exactly magic, but there are some strange and unexplained things that happen in the story.

For example, Cass has nightmares about a short, strange-looking creature (the homunculus), BEFORE she knew it existed. She also dreams that she can find him in a nearby lake, and lo and behold, that is where she finds him.

And while I’m on the subject, how can Cabbage Face (the homunculus) be alive in the first place? It was created in a bottle 500 years ago. Who comes into the world like this and who lives so long? It’s very strange, if you ask me.

Also, there is the mysterious Sound Prism that has the power to call Cabbage Face. Hmmm… It’s not exactly magic, but how do you explain it?

sexual content

None.

Drugs and alcohol

Cabbage Face steals a bottle of wine that Cass’s grandfather brought on the camping trip to the lake. The kids discover that he has a stolen booze stash when he politely offers them a shot of wine, vodka, gin, single malt scotch, tequila, or cognac. (Children wisely drink water instead).

Obscene language

None.

Other negative things

Our heroes lie, steal and disobey a little to have their adventures.

For example…

– Cass and Max-Ernest ignore their teacher’s orders to stay close and skip a field trip to rejoin the Terces Society…and end up in a mess of trouble.

– Cass steals the Sound Prism from Dr. L and Mrs. Bad – but I guess the fact that she “stole” from the bad guys makes the theft a bit more justified.

– Cass lies to the homunculus to accompany her to the Terces Society.

– Cass uses the Sound Prism to listen to a couple of girls in the bathroom at school.

– Cass lies to her mom to get her permission to go to the Skelton Sisters concert with Max-Ernest and Yo-Yoji.

my two cents

“If You’re Reading This, It’s Too Late” is a witty and funny follow-up to “The Name of This Book Is Secret.” Kids will enjoy reading as Cass and her friends have another adventure with Thirds Society. And you will enjoy all the extras in the appendix.

Some parents may not be comfortable with the occult nature of the Masters of the Midnight Sun. But for the most part, this book is appropriate for most 9-12 year olds.