If a man is in a position where he is too caught up in his mother’s life and neglects his own life as a result, he is unlikely to have a great life. This is because most of his time and energy will be directed at his mother.

However, while your life is unlikely to be very fulfilling and your self is likely to be highly diluted, you may not realize that you are living in the wrong way. However, due to the fact that living this way is probably normal, this is to be expected.

Invisible

To some people, it will be clear that he is too involved in his mother’s life and neglecting himself. Still, there are likely to be others who believe he is behaving in the right way.

Being there for his mother, he can be seen as caring and selfless, for example. Still, regardless of what goes through another person’s mind when she’s exposed to her behavior, it won’t change the fact that she can’t see clearly.

How is this possible?

It may seem strange that you can’t see what’s going on, but it’s probably been that way for most of your life. If you have more or less always experienced life this way, you can see what life is like.

So until something happens that wakes you up from the experience you are having, you may not realize that there is another way to experience life. This doesn’t mean that there won’t be comments inside notifying you that you are going against yourself.

a lot of strength

Because you’re living the wrong way, you’re likely to experience a fair amount of “negative” thoughts and feelings. But, since you probably have a strong urge to behave in the same way, you can usually push this feedback out of your awareness.

In general, this can be something that happens without him even realizing it. Still, much of his energy will be used to keep this pain at bay, and this pain will be made of energy, so you won’t have access to much of his energy.

heading for a fall

Thanks to this, there could come a time when you simply no longer have the energy to behave in the same way. If this were to happen, you may find that you can’t even get out of bed.

However, before this, you could end up in a relationship and your partner can clearly see what is going on. Before long, he might wonder why he is so focused on his mother and not really there for himself or her.

On the wall

If she were to bring this up, she might find that he is unwilling to face what is happening. He could deny what she says and make believe that she is the one with the problem, not him.

However, as time goes by, he may gradually be able to accept that he doesn’t have much life and is too focused on his mother. This is a process that could take several months.

no choice

One thing his partner could make clear is that he is not responsible for his mother and has his own life to lead. When he thinks about living his own life, he may be filled with guilt and shame, and he may experience fear and anxiety.

This will create the impression that you are doing something wrong by living your own life and that you need to continue behaving in the same way. You may end up feeling powerless, helpless, and hopeless.

A need for permission

Therefore, for her life to change, she will need her mother to give her the go-ahead. Until this happens, he will feel that he has to be there for her and watch her own life go by in the process.

Now, even if his mother did this, it’s unlikely he’d feel free to live his own life because of what’s going on inside of him. And, if her mother is completely ignorant of the fact that her son is an individual and she is using him, she will probably never give him the go-ahead.

What’s going on?

He is going to be a free man to live his own life, and yet he will not realize that he does not need anyone’s permission to do so. To understand why this would be so, it will be necessary to delve into what probably happened during his early years and the effect this had on him.

This was probably a stage in his life where his mother used him to meet some of her unmet adult and childhood needs. If he expressed the need for him, it is likely that he was punished, disapproved and/or abandoned.

The message

It simply would not have been safe for him to express himself and he would have come to believe that both his needs and his self were bad. His true self would have been hidden and since he did not receive the nutrients he needed to grow and develop, he would have been left in a state of emotional underdevelopment.

Then he will look like a man but he will feel like a dependent boy and so he will need his mother’s permission to live his own life. If he does not receive this and tries to live his own life, he will believe that he will be mistreated or abandoned and left to die.

Awareness

Ultimately, it is now up to the man to give himself permission to live his own life, and from here he can gradually separate from his mother. The power is now in his hands, not in his mothers.

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If a man can relate to this and is ready to turn his life around, he may need to seek outside support. This is something that can be provided with the help of a therapist or healer.