When a relationship starts to break down, your world is thrown into emotional chaos, and no matter what you say or do, the girl you love seems to drift further and further away. Don’t despair, there are a few things you can do to make him change his mind, even if it seems like there’s no hope he’ll stay. Here are some things you can do right now to keep her in her life.

The first thing you have to do is let her go, don’t try to make her stay, this will go against all your instincts and feelings right now, but it’s something you have to do. Trying to make someone stay against her wishes will only make him even more determined in her decision. Not trying to stop him from leaving is very important, as this shows him that you respect his decision and are willing to see his point of view. Don’t beg her to stay, it will only push her further away. It’s going to be hard, but you have to be strong, not get in her way, you have to let her go before she wants to come back.

The next step is to give yourself some space between yourself and the turmoil that is taking place. This means getting out of the way for a few days. This can be difficult under the circumstances, but what is required is a breather for both of you. If you want your girlfriend to change her mind, you should give her some space, her head is just as messy as yours right now, she needs some alone time and time to think. Don’t pester her with constant phone calls and texts, especially after a drink or two. Texting can often be misread and can seriously hamper any chance you have of making him stay.

If she’s determined to leave, the best thing to do is write a very short handwritten note saying that you’re okay with the breakup. This is a very powerful psychological method to question her mind about her decision. The idea behind this is that most people will make the mistake of trying too hard to change the other person’s mind. By agreeing with her decision, you are no longer fighting with her and showing that you understand her point of view.