Kelechi! Kelechi! She was my little sister Chinyere calling out my name. I got out of bed and ran to the balcony of our house, which was where the sound was coming from. It was a surprise to see my father with almost everyone on the balcony. My father was holding something in his hands and his eyes focused on it.

Suddenly, he turned to us, showing us what he was holding and asking; “who did this”? Looking closely at the substance she was showing us, I knew what it was. It was a piece of paper wrapped like a cigarette; the ash at its peak showed that it was lit and smoked. No one admitted having committed this act. He kept asking for about twenty minutes, without any response from us, he closed the meeting. He made his final comment with an Igbo proverb that reads; “When palm oil touches a finger, it should definitely spread to other fingers.” He then he opened the door and left the house.

In a typical Nigerian family like ours, smoking is taboo. It was also not suitable for our normally warm climate, and is discouraged by the government due to its health implications. Also, smoking in our religion is a serious sin.

They all knew that all hell would break loose upon his return. We concluded that he was going to buy the best whip on the market. My father is a whip master; he can blog an entire community without stress. Even my mother is not sure because he can spank her if she comes to rescue us from her torment. My younger brother Obinna was already crying bitterly. Until now tears had soaked my eyes because I already felt the pains of the whip. My mother called us and asked again who the smoker was, promising to advocate for him, but no one admitted.

My father came back and never said anything about the act. We thought we would be flogged at night, but it never happened. The days passed; weeks followed; Months and years came and went. Until now, my dreaded father never said a word about smoking again.

It took me years to figure out why he never punished us. My father was an addicted smoker; he regularly smoked in our presence. He lost the power to punish us because he was the kingpin of offense.

Lesson

The world has produced many celebrity speakers but few doers. We have seen outstanding teachers but fewer practitioners. We know of many great writers, but few examples of themselves. Speakers teach but doers inspire, teachers say only practitioners lead. Writers write but examples of themselves illuminate.

What you say to your children is not as powerful as what you do. Your advice is not as powerful as your actions. Your example is a pacemaker for them to walk. If you say it’s wrong, don’t do it. Be what you want your child to be and say what he wants you to say. Your son is smarter than you think. They learn mainly by observation. Children appreciate examples more than the words of the mother. Your actions teach more than books. Your advice is waste without examples.

Your words may be forgotten, but your actions are eternal. If we practice a tenth of what we have heard or read, the world will be a better place.

Let’s talk and write less and do more.