It’s Friday night and you’re ready to go on that important first date. They haven’t been on a date in a long time and they’re pretty nervous they’re going to mess things up. How do you avoid making a fool of yourself and, more importantly, getting to that second date seemingly out of your league? I’ve compiled a list of some simple tips to prevent you from making the most common and costly first date mistakes.

1. Don’t talk about your ex. It’s very unappealing to tell your date everything about your exes and what they did or didn’t do or how they did it. It really is a turn off and lowers your date’s level of interest. I’ll go one step further and say don’t even talk about your great platonic bowling buddy, friend to whom you confide all your problems. The date of him will clearly see this person as a possible threat and who wants to start a relationship in a competition? You want the date to be as romantic and light as possible.
2. Speaking of light things, keep heavy dramatic topics out of the conversation. No one wants to hear the doom and gloom about how you think the world will end because of global warming or why Bush is doing a terrible job. It’s incredibly boring to discuss the current rise in interest rates and the way your boss is giving it to you in the rear. Everything that comes out of your mouth should be positive and upbeat.
3. Don’t brag. It really doesn’t matter how much you’ve saved in your 401K and how your Jaguar gets 34 miles per gallon. We’ve all heard it a million times before, so let that aspect of your life unfold. It’s fine to highlight a selection of some of his accomplishments, but don’t overdo it. You are not on commission.
4. Don’t get all maudlin. It’s creepy and offensive. You’re not at the point where you can take those liberties, so keep your hands to yourself. No pats on the back, arms around the shoulders, or hands on the knees. These things will come in due time, so don’t rush to touch them. This stage has to happen as a natural progression in the relationship.
5. Don’t talk about sex. It’s obnoxious and downright tacky. Everyone has heard all the libido stories and dirty jokes. Keep it classy and sophisticated. You’re an adult, so you should know by now that it’s completely unnecessary to talk about how loving you are. If you’re that good, your date will eventually find out.
6. To be prepared. While spontaneity is a very good attribute, it doesn’t bode well for first dates. You must have a well thought out plan of what you will do, when and where. Know your budget and plan accordingly. Make dinner reservations and buy theater tickets in advance. It’s embarrassing to arrive at your destination only to find that it’s full and/or sold out. Give yourself plenty of travel time between locations. And whatever you do, don’t be long in picking it up. And ladies, I know it’s tempting, but it really is a tiring habit to make him wait to be “fashionably late.” Please be ready at least 10 minutes before your expected arrival time.
7. Don’t be cheap. Guys, make sure you have enough in your pocket to cover the date, including the usual tips and incidentals. And just to be clear, it’s not nice to skimp on tipping your waiter/waitress because the water was 2 degrees hotter than you would have liked or any other lame excuse you think your date will find funny. she won’t. You’ll look like a donkey and no one wants to be with a donkey. A proper tip is 10% of the total bill. And ladies, just because your date is expected to foot the bill doesn’t mean you should come empty-handed. If you’re turning Dutch, then of course that’s pretty self explanatory, but if he’s footing the bill, you should at least offer to leave the tip. Besides, didn’t your mother always tell you to keep some change just in case?
8. Don’t be cruel to the waiters. As I said in the previous tip, your date will not be amused. This is really childish behavior and I’m sure you don’t want to come across as immature. So please don’t be too demanding or difficult with your service staff. Be courteous and polite at all times and treat them like the human beings they are. As the old saying goes, you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.
9. Use proper etiquette. Pigs eat manure. People eat with cutlery and use napkins. Save another time to let your date “pull your finger” and keep gas eruptions to a minimum. Eat at a reasonable pace that allows for conversation without a morsel of food showing around the sides of the lips. And ladies, don’t order the most expensive item on the menu just because of its price and don’t starve yourself in an attempt not to look like a glutton. If you are hungry, eat. He would rather see you enjoy your food than watch you scrunch up your face in agony from your efforts to hide the loud rumblings that are brewing in your stomach.
10. Lastly, this really should go without saying, but don’t overindulge in alcoholic beverages. A first date is not the time to brag about how well you can handle your liquor. The combination of first date jitters and ten beers can be fatal to any chance of a second date. You must be very aware of your surroundings and be in full possession of your faculties. You don’t want to be so uninhibited that you forget your manners, so keep it to a maximum of three cocktails.

The first date can be a horrible, scary, exhausting, romantic, exciting, fun and memorable experience. Chances are you’ll be a nervous wreck and make a lot of mistakes throughout your special night, but so will your date. Just remember these tips and be yourself. After all, the hardest part was getting the date in the first place.