In general, we stimulate our genitals because we are aroused enough to orgasm. Men get turned on before they get to sexual opportunities. Women are supposed to be similarly aroused, so all that is required is physical stimulation. But women are not automatically present like men.

For a person to have an orgasm, they must stimulate their own sexual organ. This is a key misunderstanding of sexual relations. Even when a sexual organ is capable of penetration (such as the penis), it cannot cause a lover’s orgasm. The problem is that men want women to orgasm (get excited about) intercourse.

No one has written an academic paper to explain how a sex toy can give women a responsiveness they don’t experience in other, more natural ways. There is no research indicating that anyone can have an orgasm using a vibrator. These are simply marketing claims. It’s a clever ploy on the part of sex toy sellers because, just by buying a vibrator, a woman can ensure that she is capable of orgasm. It doesn’t even matter what anatomy it stimulates. Rather than responsiveness being an innate biological response, it is promoted as a buyable commodity.

Even men don’t reach orgasm simply by pressing a button. For stimulation to be effective, the mind must first focus on explicit eroticism in such a way that psychological arousal is achieved. This takes time, and in the case of women, often a considerable amount of time. Few women appreciate that stimulation only works once someone is mentally aroused. It is women’s aversion to abstract mental fantasy that makes a vibrator so attractive. A gadget gives women something to do. But it is also clean and devoid of the dirty associations that many women attribute to sexual activity. A gadget is acceptable because it can be accessorized and comes in different colors.

Vibrators tend to be modeled on dildos (in the shape of an erect penis) which were symbols of male potency in the past. This shape suggests eroticism, but also confuses women into thinking that they are supposed to stimulate their vaginas as a simulation of intercourse. Without a doubt, a dildo is more useful for men who want to experience anal penetration. It is difficult to explain how women can respond to stimulation that does not occur naturally. Despite all the hype, most women never use a vibrator.

For most of our history, there has been no substitute for a penis. Women couldn’t just use a random stick because it would be too uncomfortable. If they were to use something as everyday as a banana (only in hot countries), then it is assumed that bananas would be associated with women’s pleasure and not fellatio as they are. If a woman wants vaginal stimulation, there are more than enough willing men. Why do you need a substitute?

Naturally, everyone accepts that women’s difficulties with orgasm must be due to inadequate physical stimulation. Perhaps this participation reassures women by inherently shifting the blame onto men. However, this form of stimulation was invented only recently, more than 200,000 years after the appearance of Homo sapiens. It is as if sex toy manufacturers came up with a device that allows women, who cannot orgasm by natural means, to experience orgasm. But responsiveness cannot suddenly appear out of the blue.

Responsiveness is a capacity that has evolved. That means our ancestors had to have had a similar ability. It is not possible for modern women to suddenly experience a new physiological response as fundamental as orgasm for the first time in human history. By applying ‘dog and ball theory’, we can see that a vibrator does not replicate any kind of natural stimulation. A vibrating device reproduces neither a penis thrusting nor the manual kneading and massage stimulation of masturbation.

If women were turned on by a lover, they would proactively get the stimulation they need to orgasm. If women needed to orgasm, then they would instinctively masturbate using their hands, not because they were sold a gimmick. The act of buying a vibrator is evidence that a woman is looking for something she doesn’t naturally experience. It’s also a reflection of the political and emotional pressure some women feel that they should be able to orgasm. This is the key reason why men never buy vibrators to help with orgasm. Orgasm occurs in the brain, and physical stimulation is almost incidental in the sense that it’s trivial. Once a person is aroused, physical stimulation is provided instinctively.

In the past, witch doctors sold ineffective lotions and potions to an ignorant public desperate for a cure. Today, the sex industry thrives on people’s shame and ignorance about orgasm. If a woman finds that a vibrator doesn’t do anything for her, she has no one to tell. The marketing of these devices is so universal that it is difficult for a woman to question the effectiveness of it. Men do not use a vibrator to stimulate the penis. It’s the wrong kind of stimulation. However, men do not question the use of vibrators by women. Orgasm occurs in response to stimulation that is provided or obtained instinctively. Vibrators do not increase women’s enthusiasm for sex more than any other technique. Otherwise, men would run out to buy them.

A rhythmic development of muscular tensions is probably the most important of all the physiological changes that occur when an animal responds sexually. (Alfredo Kinsey 1953)