Do you talk to yourself? It would be quite unusual if you didn’t. Usually, we are talking to ourselves all the time. Usually not out loud, and not always in complete sentences, but nevertheless we are always thinking, imagining, hoping, worrying, etc. Most of the time, these states are accompanied by words, such as “I hope ___ doesn’t happen” or “I wonder if ___ will happen later.” Internal dialogue is something so common that we are usually aware of it.

For something we are barely aware of, self-talk is extremely important and powerful. If you are interested in the Law of Attraction, you may be familiar with the technique of using affirmations, as in, “I am now full and abundant in all areas of my life.” Well the fact is that people are affirming most of the time, it’s just that in many cases they are using negative affirmations! Every time we say something angry, fearful, resentful, envious, sad, or bitter, we are issuing negative affirmations to which the universe responds. The good news is that by paying attention to our internal dialogue, we can change it and also change the circumstances of our life quite quickly.

The key is to start paying attention to what you are saying to yourself. Your internal dialogue tends to be habitual, so at first you may have to work to be aware of it. It’s not unconscious though, so you don’t need to be hypnotized to access it! When you say words to yourself, you are using the conscious part of your mind, so all you need to be aware of is make the effort to pay attention.

When you start to pay attention to how you talk to yourself, look for patterns. Be especially aware of words like “always,” “nothing,” “everyone,” “no one,” and “why.” These aren’t necessarily bad, but they usually fall into the category of generalizations, like “Why do things like this always happen to me?” Or, “Why don’t my kids ever listen to me?” If you examine these statements, you will see that they are not really true. You can take an experience and generalize it to “always” or “never.” It may be helpful to write down such statements and then analyze them. Then write a more thoughtful response, such as “Things like this don’t always happen to me; in fact, they only rarely happen to me.”

You can turn negative self-talk, which, again, are really negative affirmations, and turn them into bona fide positive affirmations. One powerful way to do this is to make an effort to pay attention to positive experiences and turn them into generalizations. While these may not, strictly speaking, be any more true than the negatives, you are trying to create more of them in your life, so that you can trick your mind into believing it. This can also be done with questions. Ask, for example, “Why are people so nice to me?” or “How do I always manage to have such a good time?”

You can play around with positive self-talk and affirmations, but the important thing is to pay attention to what you normally tell yourself right now. If you find a lot of negative statements and questions, don’t despair. Just shining the light of awareness on them can do a lot to change it. Remember, these are just words. Well, words are actually very powerful, but the fact is that we have conscious control over them, even in our own minds (although it may take some practice to really understand this).

So we always have the ability to turn negative self-talk into a positive one. And positive words are more powerful than negative ones, because they are more aligned with our true nature (or Higher Self). So a good dose of positive self-talk can dispel a lot of negative ones. So start listening to yourself!