People associate cults with religious groups more than with family.
A parent with a narcissistic disorder is a self-absorbed, manipulative, and compulsive relationship. His despotic and totalitarian personality creates havoc and toxic dynamics in family structures.
Children are the weakest point of the narcissist since he has absolute power over his members. Children do not have the right to feel, they do not have the right to think and be themselves. He is the leader in this game and his children have nothing to do but adore that cult environment.
Children are easily brainwashed into accepting ‘the rules’. It’s like in the movie “The Truman Show.” Everything is a lie and deceit but you are the last person to realize this.
You have no right to have your own limits and individuality. You don’t exist as a person. The truth is, you never had a life of your own. When you become an adult you feel guilty for forgetting yourself, your dreams and goals.
One day you may find the courage and stand up for yourself and tell the truth. If you do that to the leader, you can be in serious danger of abuse. You have to follow his rules, please the teacher, and walk on eggshells when he’s not in the mood. Otherwise, he will abuse you and use you as a scapegoat. He will manipulate you and blame you for your faults until you are silenced and obeyed once more.
The most important thing for a narcissistic father is not you as a person but his perfect image for others. Your pain and your problems are meaningless to them. The sectarian family has a very distorted perception of how they want to be seen by others. You cannot reveal the truth as it is highly prohibited.
Children are not separate human beings and have no identity. There is no room for individuality. There are no personal likes or dislikes or preferences about what a child wants or doesn’t want to do.
For example: ‘Mom, can we go to the movies to see a new cartoon? No, we will not go there. I watched the movie with my friend yesterday.” In her mind, she doesn’t want to do this, so her child must feel the same way. This child belongs to her and is an extension of her ego.
There is no privacy too. She has the right to go see all her belongings. There is control, manipulation and isolation. If she comes home, she may be suspected of something she didn’t do. Narcissistic parents make him feel guilty for confessing to the lie they project onto him.
When brothers live together, they divide and are encouraged to conquer the war with each other. They often take the role of the scapegoat and the golden child. Their weakness and secrets are shared with other relatives and strangers. Intimate personal information about your life is used against you later.
You may also notice that there are not only abusers but also enablers in that toxic family. They are also called naive flying monkeys. They close your truth to protect the image. The truth about them is heartbreaking. They are bullies but they pretend that everything is fine and perfect. They aggressively cover up domestic abuse and let children know they are alone with their drama.
There is also love bombing devaluation abuse cycle. It leads to the trauma bond. That leads to Stockholm syndrome which leads to cognitive dissonance. It happens during the time when you think they are nice and likable.
Trust me they are not as it is just a game to break you. It is a very tricky and deceptive mind game so be careful what you are going through. When you let your guard down for them to come and hurt you. Any disagreement is taken as an attack since you are not guilty of anything. The whole cycle of abuse is starting all over again.
It’s hard to break this manipulative and dangerous game. It also distorts the victim’s mind. False negative beliefs and emotions hijack the victim to fall into a trance state. Lies bog him down and make him desperate.
Fortunately, there is a process that helps you eliminate brain fog and confusion. It can help you become aware and lucid once again. Cult family members will never change.
You will never rescue them, but you can take care of yourself and regain freedom for yourself and your soul.